This is just the best of what the comedy world has been tweeting about during the last week. Is it topical or relevant? Not really. Is it funny? Most definitely.

@SaraJBenincasa Jessica Simpson says she won’t do nudity, not even for an Oscar. Because the only thing standing in between Jess + an Oscar is her modesty.

@PFTompkins Tiger Woods is a disgrace, but I’m glad his apology was televised! We should never have elected him to golf! HE SHOULD BE GOLFPEACHED!

@kylekinane How is the show “I Shouldn’t Be Alive” not the same thing as “Keeping Up With The Kardashians?”

@codenameduchess Tapioca pudding. Con: insane amount of carbs and sugars. Pro: tastes like you’re going down on an angel.

@julialillis between the Renoir @ LACMA posters & the @KimKardashian perfume billboards, a drive down fairfax feels like a trip to the titty bar

@CraigyFerg Today is the birthday of Copernicus. The first man to prove the world does not revolve round Tiger Woods. Happy Birthday Copey.