This is just the best of what the comedy world has been tweeting about during the last week. Is it topical or relevant? Not really. Is it funny? Most definitely.

@nerdist For the next Batman villain I recommend Heidi Montag as Basil Karlo.

@KenTremendous iTablet now attacking Apple rep. Bit off her hand at the elbow. The singularity is here. Machine Rule is upon us. Godspeed, humans.

@SklarBrothers RIP JD Salinger. His constant media presence will be sorely missed. Sucks for you TMZ, you’re going to have to fill that hole somehow

@pauldanke YO ENOUGH JERSEY SHORE REFERENCES! this is exactly why your fucking screenplay isn’t done yet (super sorry to get all “your father” on this)

@rainnwilson My favorite part of Avatar? When that guy was really upset and they ran around.