This is just the best of what the comedy world has been tweeting about during the last week. Is it topical or relevant? Not really. Is it funny? Most definitely.

@ConanOBrien 11 years between “Toy Story’s” and 7 months between “Twilight’s.” By that measure, the “Jonah Hex” sequel should be out in 3 days.

@michaelianblack Today’s headline: North Korea out of World Cup. Tomorrow’s headline: North Korean Soccer Team Dead.

@boburnham miley cyrus, your dance moves pale in comparison to the moves of the dead feminists rolling in their graves.

@azizansari No idea why carne asada is trending on Twitter in LA, but if BP fucked up carne asada some how, I’m gonna be fucking PISSED.

@SarahKSilverman Sometimes people act like the US isn’t the only country in the whole world.