This is just the best of what the comedy world has been tweeting about during the last week. Is it topical or relevant? Not really. Is it funny? Most definitely.

@DougBenson Katy Perry says California girls will melt your popsicle. Which is why I prefer east coast girls. They leave my popsicle alone. #cocksicle

@michaelianblack Memorial Day, when we celebrate soldiers and great deals on cars

@danecook Funny how when u run out of deodorant anything becomes a possible alternative. Just stared at a banana for a good 30 seconds contemplating.

@pauldanke why isn’t there an adult’s national spelling bee? oh wait – because ADULTS KNOW HOW TO USE A SPELLCHECK! evolve you little morons! EVOLVE!

@DavidSpade if guys see sex in city 2 it will be like watching last episode of lost. you will have no idea whats going on and nothing makes sense