This is just the best of what the comedy world has been tweeting about during the last week. Is it topical or relevant? Not really. Is it funny? Most definitely.

@michaelianblack I spilled some olive oil in my kitchen and the dog licked it right up. We need to get some dogs to the Gulf ASAP.

@DougBenson If you’re too good for Myspace, you can just ask me on Twitter if and when I’ll be coming to your town. (The answer will probably be no.)

@pauldanke dear American Apparel, thanks for bringing back the single piece bathing suit, WITH the comfortable thong rear end. ladies, summer is here!

@ConanOBrien I’m in New York for a TBS network presentation. They just told me they’re a basic cable network. WTF!!!?

@thelovemaster Amazed – robin hood is revered as a heroic character. Methinks if he were alive 2day fox news would brand him w the dreaded “socialist” tag

@ChristFinnegan Store I just saw: “Portly Gentleman: Larger Than Life Menswear”. That’s right, because YOUR WEIRD BODY DOESN’T APPEAR IN NATURE!