This is just the best of what the comedy world has been tweeting about during the last week. Is it topical or relevant? Not really. Is it funny? Most definitely.

@KindlerAndy Anybody else paying for a premium twitter account? $9.95 a month, with unlimited minutes. Is that good?

@michaelianblack Performed in front of a crowd of old, rich people last night. I learned not to make dick jokes for old, rich people.

@ChristFinnegan This day is so beautiful, I feel as I have no choice but to go hide in the comforting darkness of a movie theater.

@Braunger The guy in the tight jeans, trimmed goatee, and billowy white shirt is perfect for the spy known only as “The Spaniard.” #castingatLAX

@pauldanke I hope Obama still has days where he rolls into work still drunk from the night before too … you know, keep him connected to REAL people.

@ConanOBrien Through the desert on my way to Reno, I passed an establishment called “Shady Ladies”. I think it’s either a brothel or a tree nursery.