This is just the best of what the comedy world has been tweeting about during the last week. Is it topical or relevant? Not really. Is it funny? Most definitely.

@robhuebel Hey toddler in stroller throwing tantrum at your nanny by Jamba Juice: Things are tough all over. So shut it.

@ScottAukerman I feel like America may be running out of top models and dance crews.

@ConanOBrien 5 days to the opening of my tour. I don’t want to over-hype this thing, but attendance will cure all known diseases.

@kareydornetto i was just excused from a criminal trial. thanks 10 year old DUI! ya good ole pal

@Grubes69 pretty sure I’m sitting next to Ryan Seacrest on the bus from Mobile to Tuscaloosa. He’s much blacker in person & very tall!

@emilymayamills There’s a new nursery school in Silverlake called Camelot Kids. Could they make it any more clear you have to be white and priveleged to …