This is just the best of what the comedy world has been tweeting about during the last week. Is it topical or relevant? Not really. Is it funny? Most definitely.

@michaelianblack The Irish celebrating St. Patty’s Day with alcohol is like Native Americans celebrating the solstice with smallpox.

@emilymayamills FREE ONLINE WHISKEY SHOTS for the first 100 people to let my leprechaun rape their computer.

@Grubes69 Very sorry. Just informed that the past tense of tweet is actually tweeted, not twat. My bad LOL

@DougBenson “You don’t even know you’re working out.” -Dumbass in Flirty Girl Fitness commercial

@ChelseaVPeretti Does everyone keep an “If I turn up dead” folder on their desktop with names of potential suspects?